Damaging

I’ve left Twitter. Had enough of it as I’m not contributing anything worthwhile and it’s just dark shit that nobody wants to see on their timeline. Also with current events as they are in the world all I’m seeing coming up on my timeline is stuff that annoys the shit out of me and that’s not good for me either. It’s all politics, activists, vegans, feminism, gender bollocks, reality tv, influencers, cheats, lies, violence and injustice and I’ve had enough of trying to sieve out the crap. It’s becoming impossible to block it out and I can’t physically block the entire world so the best thing for me is to come off it.

There’s one or two people I’d like to have kept in touch with but I doubt that would’ve come to anything either. I’m not much of a texter at the moment and haven’t got much to say (he says…writing a fucking blog) so any contacts I’d made with good intentions to ‘keep in touch’ wouldn’t have gone much further after Twitter anyway. Their lives won’t be any different without me in it. I’ve gone as far as I can with that.

I do have a Twitter account for my game time so that will stay open for the time being. There’s none of the aforementioned bullshit on there to annoy me, just people talking about games and strategies etc so that’ll keep me occupied for the time being, if I can be arsed to read any of it.

See ya later.

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Stranded

Here we go again. For the 3rd time I’ve contacted so called mental health services, or tried to, and for the 3rd time it’s hit a brick wall. I went to my GP last week to ask about some help and to be fair to the guy he did get someone to get back to me pretty quick. As I mentioned in my last post I was a bit scared to call them and get things moving but I needn’t have been scared because it’s all gone quiet anyway. What was the point?I called them last week and they arranged to call me back. I explained that my phone rejects private numbers and they basically said that I need to not ignore the call and pick it up. The phone didn’t even ring. Straight to voicemail, twice. They called at 12.13 and 12.15 and left no message or instructions to call back. I called them back and explained what had happened and they said they’d be in touch. That was about 3 days ago I think and nothing since. No emails, no texts, no messages and no missed calls. Back where I started. Again, WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT?This process causes more anxiety than it claims to fix and the current state of mental health services is a fucking joke. You can understand why suicide rates are rising and it’s because there really is no easy help out there and people have to fight and struggle to get any kind of response out of these people who claim to want to help us. I see adverts online and on posters saying ‘We’re here to help.’ No you’re not are you. It’s all bullshit.I’ve been advised to ring the Samaritans if I have an immediate problem but I don’t do well talking over the phone. I want to speak to someone face to face and start a process to get this sorted, or at least learn some kind of coping strategy to deal with it when it gets bad. Can the Samaritans do that or are they just a temporary service to talk you out of jumping off the bridge? I honestly don’t know, maybe I should ring and ask them. I’m getting no help at all from the services that are supposed to be doing this. I’ll call them again today and give it one more chance and then I’m done trying. I just don’t have the energy to keep doing this.Everything else is going ok at the moment. I’m still a bit low but I’m on the other side of it now so hopefully in a week or so I’ll be back to a brighter version of me. There’s our Total Warrior event on Saturday and then starting on Friday morning next week (at 5am) we have a sunrise run, then Saturday is the Colour Obstacle Dash and then Sunday is the Round Sheffield Run. I’ll be knackered by Monday and thankfully Friday and Saturday are only 5ks. By the beginning of July maybe I’ll be in a better place. I still feel as if there’s a cloud over me and it won’t quite shift. Will I ever be that way again? I seem to get less energetic and more cynical after each depression episode. Coming back up is a long process and it gets harder every time.Nothing gives me any real joy any more. I’ve signed up to my old form of escapism which I’m not sure was a great move but it’s distracting me for now. Don’t panic, it’s not drugs, gambling or alcohol, it’s computer games. I’ve played games ever since I was a child and gradually as I got into my 20s they went from simple stuff to online multi players and role players. It’s World of Warcraft but I won’t go into how it works or what it’s about as it would take too long to explain and I have a PT session in 15 mins with my pal Thalia. It does tend to swallow a lot of my spare time but for now while I’m feeling crap it’s helping me to focus on something other than how low I’ve been. It’ll do for now, and my work life is too busy to allow me to get fully immersed in it like I was last time. There’ll be no midnight to early morning dungeon runs because I have 6am PT sessions that would be impossible to get up for.Back to work, laters. 👍

Why

I was going to start this post with “so, this week has been crap” but I hate it when sentences get started with ‘so’ because all I can picture is some Instagram teen talking absolute bollocks about stuff that nobody gives a shit about but that he/she thinks is VERY IMPORTANT. Love Island started last week, or the week before…I don’t really know or care, and it’s full of that attention seeking type. No thanks, I’d rather stare at a blank wall. If Gogglebox make them watch it I’ll be turning it off. Gogglebox makes me laugh but they do get forced to watch some shite.

These days we tend to watch Netflix or BBC iPlayer and we’ve been watching Gentleman Jack and Killing Eve lately. Great fun if a little saucy at times but that’s one reason why people watch it I suppose. Game of Thrones has come to an end and we’re waiting for series four of Last Kingdom for our monthly fix of swords and magic. I was advised by a client to watch West World yesterday so will mention it to Liz when we come to the end of whatever we’re watching. I always enjoyed the original film with Yul Brynner and found it quite scary at times. I’m hoping they’ve managed to make it as good and as gripping as that. It’s a bit dated now but I still enjoy it. Just the same as I still enjoy films like Flash Gordon and Condorman. Cheesy and far fetched but still entertaining.

I’ll start this post again as I’ve digressed a bit. (A lot)

The last few weeks have been complete crap as anyone who follows my depressive mumblings on Twitter will have gathered. I was away with Liz in Siena, Italy last week and I was concerned about being away anyway as it’d upset my work routine, I’d end up spending money I didn’t have and I wouldn’t be able to relax. The weather was beautiful throughout the week and the scenery was gorgeous but I didn’t enjoy the holiday. As soon as we were out of the airport my hay fever kicked in and didn’t let up all week. It gradually got worse and worse until my eyes were a complete mess and the heat was too much. Liz enjoyed it as far as I could tell. She loves having a pool to herself so she was up most mornings or afternoons after we’d been out doing her thing.

I used the pool once and had a couple of early morning runs at the beginning of the week but as I felt more and more crap due to the hay fever and being away from home I sunk into a depression and it was a struggle to go out. I did anyway for Liz’s sake and not to spoil her holiday but I’d have been happy to stay out of the sun for the week. Miserable twat I know, and I feel really ungrateful too. I’m not a big fan of myself at the moment.

Exercise is still an issue and the only thing I’m doing is a couple of runs a week with the group. With how everything is I’ve considered closing the group down at the end of the summer or autumn as it’s not what it used to be and little groups have formed within the group, certain people feel excluded and that’s not what the group is about. ‘Nobody gets left behind’ is supposed be our mantra and I’d prefer that to be practised across the entirety of our activities. Right now that isn’t happening and it makes me sad.

I’m not lifting at the moment. I haven’t lifted properly for over 3 weeks and have no desire to. I started to think ‘why am I doing this anyway?’. I don’t want to live to ripe old age because I’ll still be working (nobody wants a 70yr old PT) and what’s the point in keeping fit to stay alive longer if I’m not going to be able to enjoy it because I’m skint? I have no pension, can’t afford to start one and can’t be arsed with the hassle anyway. I’m also selling a product I don’t believe will work for me. It can work for the people I train as most have good jobs and plans for the future and doing regular exercise will keep them fit and healthy enough to enjoy it but for me I’d rather not hang around much past 60, which gives me another 17 years or so to decide whether to stay or go. I’m not lucky enough to win the lottery and although my debts are gradually getting smaller I think I’ll be pushing 50 before I get near to clearing them completely. That’s pretty depressing too.

I went to a doctor this week to ask for help with mental health and he seems to have passed my number to the correct people as I’ve had a couple of phone calls asking for call backs but I’ve not found time to ring them yet and I think I’m a bit scared. I don’t want to be let down again, and also if they can help, the thought of digging into the root cause of my depression and talking about my past and family is really not somewhere I want to go. I know it’s probably what needs to be done if I’m going to be able to get help but it still scares me. What if they tell me that I need to go and talk to my mother in order to put this shit to bed? I don’t want to see any of them again. They’ve never understood me and just bitch behind each other’s back to each other but mum still claims to be in this ‘loving family’ and putting on a huge facade for everyone. Its all crap really.

One final thing before I head back to work. I had a yearly bill yesterday morning from my internet provider, the guys who host my PT website for £115. Not very nice to wake up to. No more than 10 minutes after I got a random text from someone asking for personal training. I met her yesterday and she’s already signed up, which has more than covered the cost of the bill, AND she found me through my website. How weird is that??? It’s things like that make me wonder if someone is secretly looking after me. Yeh bad shit happens every once in a while but occasionally this kind of thing happens too. It’s nice that it happened this way around as usually when I get some surprise payback from somewhere I get a huge bill from somewhere that wipes it out. Life is weird.

Scattered

I’ve had so much crap going through my head in the last few days that I really don’t know how to verbalise it. If I had some way to record every thought that goes through my mind as I think it then it’d be easy to write these blogs but most of the time I can’t even remember what I wanted to talk about.

I do find that I’m talking to myself a lot more these days. Muttering to myself under my breath, at least I hope it’s under my breath. If I were to say out loud half the stuff I mumbled to myself then people would at last have it confirmed that I am losing my marbles. Maybe I am. Is that how people who talk to themselves start? Do they start by mumbling and then gradually get louder and louder without realising it? I do sometimes catch people who appear to be talking to themselves as they walk down the street but I just assume they’re on hands free or something. Most of the time they’ve got headphones in so they could very well be singing to themselves. Happy lot eh?

At least I’m not hearing voices…yet! I do occasionally find myself replaying old arguments in my head, playing them out differently or even creating new ones with people I’m not keen on and imaginging how it’d go in my mind. As soon as I catch myself doing this I reel it in but it seems to be happening a lot at the moment. It must be a sign of stress. I’m still not fixed after my last blog post and feeling very much the same way. There seems to be a lot of it about at the moment. A friend of mine on Twitter has been struggling a lot lately and now she’s gone quiet but with no way of checking on her I’ve no idea if she’s finally gone or if she’s just left Twitter. I’m hoping she’s ok but if she made ‘the’ final choice I hope she’s happier where she is now and at peace. Sad times we live in.

I went out at the weekend for a 10k run around Longshaw estate (3rd Sunday of every month) and got my best time on that course but only because I was trying to keep up with my fast friend Dave. We’re doing a race together at the end of next month so it’s a good insight into how fast I’m going to need to be in order to give him a good race and not feel like he’s being pulled back. I know what that feels like and even if it’s with friends it can be a bit frustrating when you know you can do better. The best thing in situations like that is to make things clear at the beginning whether you’re happy to hang back or do your own thing and go on ahead. Dave and I are entered as a pair on this race so we have to run together. I hope I don’t let him down. If it’s anything like Sunday I’ll be absolutely hanging by the end but at least I’ll feel like I’ve earned my medal. Most of the running group are doing the race so it should be a nice day, I just hope it’s not as hot as last year. Roasting!!!

longshaw-paul-dave-barbara.jpg

Liz and I are going away on Friday for week in Tuscany. I’ve never been to Italy and haven’t had a holiday abroad in 10 years. It’ll almost be 10 years to the day as well. Weird timing that is. I’ve not packed anything yet and I’ve got a really busy week ahead with work so as usual it’s going to be a last minute thing, as most things are with me these days. I find lots of things I don’t really need to do right now and make them more important than the stuff I should actually be doing. Nutcase I am! I had a minor panic attack last week too and told myself that I couldn’t go on the holiday anyway. I’ve been trying to save and pay off my debts over the last few months and had almost paid off my bank overdraft. While looking through my finances I decided it’d be a good idea to put the money I’d saved onto one of my credit cards as the interest rate is much higher and it’d make more sense to pay that off first rather than my bank overdraft. That would’ve been a good idea…if I didn’t need spending money for the holiday! I transferred the cash and then later that night it hit me that I now didn’t have the spending money for the holiday and oh shit, I’m now fucked! Cue the panic attack, anxiety and of course depression and despair. How didn’t I think of this at the time? I began to wonder if subconciously I wanted to sabotage my chances of going away. I was secretly expecting something to go terribly wrong or wondering how I was going to manage to fuck this up before it happened. This is how my mind works generally. I don’t think I believe that I deserve nice things as I’ve done a few bad things in the last 20 years and even though I don’t believe in God or Karma I expect some kind of backlash or judgement for it. When bad things happen I just accept that I must’ve deserved it. I’m not very nice to myself am I.

Due to all the crap that’s going around up there at the moment I’ve completely lost all self motivation to train or run and without my running guys and the regular routine of 5k and 10k every week I doubt I’d even get out there. I trained with Liz on Saturday evening because otherwise I wouldn’t have done anything. I’ve not done any squats for over 2 weeks and my study has also gone out the window. I just can’t seem to motivate myself to work on my own progress whether it be academic or physical. I’m not really sure how I’m going to get past it and have gone a bit stagnant but I’ve no desire to fix it at the moment so it’s just going to have to sit as it is for a while. I see all the motivation stuff online about how to stay upbeat, how to keep a positive mindset, how to train, what to eat etc and I just want to shout FUCK OFF! It’s just not working for me at the moment.

I’ve alienated myself a little on Twitter recently too. One or two folks from the running and Racecheck community have been blocked due to my tolerance being at it’s lowest and there are chances of bumping into some of them at upcoming races so I’ll just be keeping my head down. Racecheck and Visorclub members are encouraged to wear their visors at events so they can be recognised but I don’t think I’ll be doing that any more. I’m just not into it. If any of you guys are reading this I apologise and I don’t mean to be rude, I’m just not in a great place at the moment and prefer to keep people at arms length and be left alone. I’m not hugely social anyway so a simple smile or a hello will do for me. I’m not into the big internet meetups and drink fests afterwards. No offence, I’ll just disappear quietly and you won’t even notice. That reminds me, I need a new running cap that actually fits my head. One size does NOT fit all!

For the next couple of hours I’m going to try to relax a little online, play a game for a bit and try to get my head around the rest of this week’s PT planning. I’ve got 9 sessions to plan for tomorrow and another 6 on Thursday. We fly on Friday so between times I’ll be trying to keep my head clear, not panic too much about the holiday (I’m not scared of flying) and attempt to continue. Brave face on.

Time

I’m not sure I have much left. Not much to give and not much to use. As I’ve got older I’ve started to think more and more about my mortality. How and when will I go? Will it happen without my say so or will it be me that finishes things?

Based upon my state of mind in the last few years I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s most likely to be me that says enough is enough, I’m done, bye. The only reason it’s not happened yet is that when I’m in the lowest point of the dark mood I still don’t have the bollocks to do anything. Still a complete useless coward.

I’ve spent the last 24 hours moaning on Twitter, being a miserable twat and alienating people who I’ve chatted to on and off for the last 12 months or so. One or two have unfollowed me understandably so, and those who have I’ve promptly unfollowed or blocked. I get why they wouldn’t want my negative shit on their timeline but also one or two of these unfollowed have mentioned how important mental health is before but when a so called twitter friend/associate is clearly struggling they simply unfollow. Admittedly I did tweet that sometimes I don’t want to be asked if I’m ok and don’t want to be bothered with sympathy so without knowing what to do for the best they hit the unfollow button so they don’t have to read my rantings. As I said on Twitter, fair enough…and fuck you. 🖕

One or two were kind enough to check on me as I have done for a few others in the past, as I would do for many if they were visibly struggling. We’re all different I suppose.

I do think that my time is limited here. I don’t have a pension, I’m self employed, have over £15000 worth of debt and no faith in my abilities so it’s pointless trying to carry on. In the grand scheme of things none of us matter anyway. 1 person out of billions makes no difference at all. The world is pretty fucked from top to bottom. Corruption, greed and misery rules and destroys the planet and I don’t want to be around in a world like that.

Nothing we do really matters so why do we try so hard? I have no idea and I’ve given up trying. Obviously I’ll go through the motions for a bit longer, going to work, exercising when I can be bothered, putting a smile on when required, but eventually it’s all going to be too much and it’ll be time to go. Not sure how but I’ll figure it out.

With regards to people ending their existence I think it’s up to them and it’s not anyone’s responsibility, duty or right to talk them out of it. If someone really wants to go then let them go. It’s easier than letting them struggle on until the next time. I don’t want a life like that. Depression never goes away. Once you’ve got it then it’s always there. It can be managed but it’s still there. Fuck that, I’d rather put myself down as broken and dispose of myself accordingly. If I’d finally built up the courage to do it and someone stopped me I’d be fucking angry. It’s my choice, not theirs!

In the series Afterlife, Ricky Gervais’s character enables a depressed heroin addict to end his life with an overdose and this I can completely relate to. The guy wanted to go. It was his life, his choice, end of story. There were pictures of a guy trying to jump off a bridge this week on Twitter and the people around him were being called heroes for stopping him, holding him, tying him to the railings. Fuck off! I don’t agree with jumping off a bridge into oncoming traffic or into a train or off a building because people have to see that and live with the trauma and the aftermath, but it was his choice to go. Who gave those people the right to stop him? Who says he won’t try again in a more private setting?

It’s upsetting for the loved ones of the person but it’s still their choice to go. Shouldn’t we respect that? Just because a person is depressed surely doesn’t mean they’re not in their right mind? Just because I’m typing all this am I not in my right mind? I’m not a psychopath or a sociopath (I hope) and not a danger to others so surely if I made my choice I should be entitled to take the necessary action. Sometimes people have just had enough.

Undulating

It’s been a funny week of ups and downs. Here’s a summary, although knowing me I’ll waffle on so get comfy.

Monday

This started with a 5k run around the park with Liz. We try to do this most Monday mornings as part of her training program and it’s a nice start to the day. Both of us work from home on Monday so we can relax a little and not have to get up at daft o’clock. To be honest I’d rather be out running by 7am latest but it’s usually around 8ish.

It went well, Liz shaved off another couple of minutes from the week before (34 mins) and is getting closer to where she was before her injury a few weeks back. I’m not sure if she has a goal in mind for the 5k but I think we can get close to under 30 minutes in a few months if we keep at it.

The rest of the day was working together on laptops in the kitchen. Her doing her stuff and me planning the week’s PT sessions, answering messages and putting reminders out for people to book in. PT started at 6 and then finished at 8 so not too late home.

Tuesday

This is training day for Liz at 7am so a breakfast of squats, sled pulls/pushes, single leg squats and barbell rollouts were served. After this I had another client so Liz headed home and I’d see her again in the evening, most likely asleep where she’s crashed after work.

It was also my training day so 2 hours of olympic lifts and strength work for me. Last week I got a new squat PB of 150kg, almost 150% bodyweight and I was happy with that but there wouldn’t be any PBs this week as it’s the Sheffield Half Marathon on Sunday so nothing crazy.

After this it was home to do more planning, prepare for spin class and then the usual Tuesday night 5k with my group. We went through the woods again followed by Barbara on her scooter as usual. We had a bit of a funny moment on some uneven ground where she had to find an alternate route and on coming down the hill to catch us up she hit the accelerator instead of the brake and went careering up another slope in an attempt to stop. This is the kind of madness that makes our run group special. Daft lot they are! Even better was that we were trialing an action camera that Barbara had kindly offered to let the group use so the whole event was caught on video! Hopefully we’ll be able to use that on our mud runs and events when we’re out and about this year. We see so many funny moments during these events but never have a camera so this should be good if we can make it work. X-Runner last Saturday was a great day out so we’re looking forward to the next one in May and then June.

Wednesday

Early start today (6am) with 5 clients before lunch time, a run out with Janita our running coach, and then a steady afternoon until training at Hallam in the evening. I never do more than 3 clients in a row without a break as it just wipes me out so I tend to put a break in the middle. As it happened this week there was a miscommunication with my 9am appointment so he rescheduled to 2.30pm and I had a 2 hour break instead.

At 12.30 three of us went out for a speed interval session which meant we were running at about 90% effort for 3 sets of 5 minutes with just a 30 second rest between. This is known as anaerobic training because you don’t get a full recovery but it conditions your body to work better without that oxygen so you can perform better at high intensity. Yes it was certainly intense but not enough to do any lasting damage. That was the point of the session. Conditioning before our race on Sunday to get us used to running at a fast pace so we know what it feels like.

After this and my final 2 PT sessions for the day I went to Hallam feeling like I didn’t have the energy to do my workout. Luckily after just getting on with it for about half an hour I started to feel my energy levels returning and it turned into a good session. I’m still getting used to training there as it all still a bit new but the people are nice, very encouraging and although not all of them talk a lot they do support everyone. There’s plenty of advice if you need it and it makes training there a very positive experience. I’m not sure but I think my technique is steadily improving. My front squat certainly is and I hit 5 sets of 4 at 110kg on both Sunday and Tuesday. Happy with that.

Thursday

A 7am start with Liz again but this was my only morning appointment so we were able to pop home and relax a little before she had to head off. I decided to do my Sunday training as I’m running on Sunday so won’t be in a fit state after that and Saturday would be a silly idea. Lots of rest and good sensible food is the order of that day.

More front squats, snatch and clean & jerk done and a phone call from my mate Chris saying he needs to cancel PT for a while. Bugger! I had a feeling this was coming because he’s been really busy with work over the last month or two and keeps missing sessions so for him it’s probably the right decision.

Unfortunately for me it’s a loss of earnings and I’m already down a little next month, plus I have my yearly PT license payment coming in so it’s a very expensive month with not much extra to play with. As a result I’ve decided to try to advertise my new services and qualifications a little and try to get some runners in as clients. There are loads of people on the treadmills that just run because they either don’t know how to lift weights or think that’s all there is to keeping fit. It’s all cardio, cardio and more cardio. Lifting weights and resistance training is a much better solution to losing body fat than just pounding the treadmill, especially with all the impact that goes through your body every time your foot hits the floor.

Weight training protects against that and makes your body stronger so it can withstand the impact with less chance of getting injured. I’m going to make it my mission this month to get that message across and hopefully get some people into training with me, and get my earnings back to where they need to be. That’s the plan anyway.

Friday

Early start again this morning (6am) but just a couple of clients and then back home to comfort Liz who’d woke up from a horrible vivid dream that we’d had an argument and broken up. That’s a rotten way to wake up and it can put you off balance for the rest of the day. Lots of reassuring cuddles were had.

The rest of the day I’ll be working on some programs and considering heading back into work to try and help a few people out with their lifting or running techniques. I’ve ordered some flyers in the same style as a poster I made yesterday so will be handing those out to people on treadmills and cross trainers next week hopefully. In the mean time I’ll be wandering about with a leaflet in hand asking people if they’re interested in any help.

Tonight is another speed session instead of the usual Friday night 10k and we’ll be doing some warm ups in the park followed by 3 maximum speed intervals of 1 minute on, 30 seconds off. It’s a tough one but not enough to wear anyone out for Sunday. 😁

Saturday isn’t here yet but tomorrow I’ll be volunteering at Graves ParkRun and then relaxing in the afternoon before race day Sunday. It should be a brilliant event. I’m not looking forward to actually running it because for 2 hours it’s going to hurt but I’m running with a friend and we’re both going for PB so we’ll hopefully push each other over that line in something under 2 hours.

Oh, and yesterday I also signed up for the Manchester Marathon in 2020!!!! Bloody mental or what eh?

Good luck everyone running in Sheffield this weekend and beyond. 😁💪

Humble

I had a great time at Hallam (the lifting club) last night. I’m still very much the new guy so am keeping a low profile and trying to give priority to everyone else as far as lifting space goes. The last thing I want is to be the new wanker who pushes his way in, trying to make an impression and makes himself look a dick in front of more experienced people who lift better and heavier.

No trying to be funny, make stupid jokes or showing off. It’s just annoying. The main thing at this place is to be mindful of what’s happening around you as there’s a lot of weights flying around. As Steph told me last night if there’s someone doing a big lift then give them plenty of space and don’t walk in front of them to make them lose focus. Assistance work like rows, deadlifts ok, but snatches, cleans and jerks no. Keep clear, and fair enough. Nobody wants a missed or failed lift blamed on them. 🙈

Also there’s a girl down there who looked awfully familiar and I only figured it out after training for a couple of hours. She looks like Emily Blunt so I did my best not to stare and I hope I didn’t freak her out. I sometimes do the staring thing and don’t even realise I’m doing it.

Keeping a low profile is something I try to do anyway, or at least I hope I’m seen that way. I’m a level 4 Strength and Conditioning Coach now but the last thing I want is for the other guys thinking that I think I’m better than they are. Most of the PTs at our place are level 3 but many have other skills and qualifications like sports massage, sports science degrees and many years of hands on experience that I couldn’t hope to compete with, not yet anyway. I’ve now got 3 years of experience but it’s still not a great deal compared to some of our guys and I still feel like I’ve got an awful lot to learn. Nutrition is currently the lowest point of my knowledge and it’s hopefully an area I’ll be looking into soon. I’m seeing Tom tomorrow to begin my UKSCA (United Kingdom Strength and Conditioning Association) mentorship so we’ll be looking at coaching cues and olympic weightlifting to UKSCA standard. There’s so much to learn and remember so it’s going to take time for it all go in. Lots of reading, writing and practising. I also found out that I’m not alone as Tom from our place (a different Tom) is also being taught the UKSCA qualification so it’ll be two of us practicing lifts. This is Tom in his Tone class yesterday.

Anyway, I’m signing this one off here as I’m training John in 20 minutes, then back here to take Tia for a walk, back train Chris, another hour gap and then Dave, Emma and Thalia for PT. Busy night.